eye witness - in the studio

My buddies Eye Witness are recording their debut folk-rock masterpiece (folksterpiece) and have finished one session thus far - here's a blog entry on their Myspace about it.

http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=162785510&blogId=484599521

They've also posted a fun video about their first day in the studio, embedded later in the post. These cats are still looking for donations through Paypal ($8 is basically a pre-order for their CD) which kind individuals questing for the next big thing in local music can do through their Myspace page. Just scroll to the About Us section: http://www.myspace.com/eyewitnessrocks

Video!

Eye Witness, day one in the recording studio.

Free plug! Give me money

Since I'm such an upstanding guy, and I really stand by products/services I like and will plug them shamelessly given the chance, I'd like to give my loyal readers (all three of them - google analytics doesn't lie) some info about:

Blip.fm - think of it as Twitter, but with music. You basically make an account (the post updates of which can be synced to your Twitter account) and you can search for artists/songs and click on the one you want, bam. You're basically tweeting songs. The updates show up on Twitter at the same time, and people can follow you on Blip's site as well. I'm sure loads of other people have heard of this before I did, but meh. It's neat, check it out.

Here's mine:

Lala.com - This is ostensibly a free service: on signup you get 50 "song credits" free, which lets you upload your own library of music to the site for free, then stream your music from any browser for free. You can basically take your library with you, iPod or not. Service also lets you purchase music through it, for pretty cheap. albums can be as low as 80cents, and some individual songs go as high as 89cents. They're DRM free and will work on iTunes or other music library software, so that's a straight win. You can stream a full album for free once, all the way through, then you can either choose to buy a "web only" edition of the album for under a dollar (only for streaming on the site) or buy the album for less than the iTunes charge.

You know what else is a win? This:

The vast majority of our MP3 files are encoded using variable bit rates (VBR), aiming at an average of 256 kilobits per second (kbps). Lala will notify you of the bitrate for the specific track you are purchasing before you confirm an MP3 purchase.

Fuck yeah decent bitrates. Try it, I swear they're not paying me to write this. But hey, perhaps some more song credits my way would be cool...

Yet another internet list of guilty pleasure songs

I'm not gonna do albums because I'm doing specific entries for each song on my list, and this is gonna be one epic blog post.

1.Fuel - Metallica.



Ok, so I legitimately like a fair amount of 'Tallica, and Master of Puppets is one of my favorite all time albums, etc. But Fuel is just so laughably bad a track, you can't help but love its forced machismo. Hetfield and Co. really wanted to shake off the stank of metal for a while in the 90s by exploring other genres they liked (which is fine, no one can begrudge them that), but the result is cheesy stadium-pumping adrenaline-soliciting nonsense which is also groovy and dare I say it, catchy. I'm no connoisseur of automobiles, but this song is easy to just get pumped for something, like say an 80s style training/assembly montage.

2.Groove is in the Heart - Deee-Lite

Groove is in the Heart - Dee-Lite
Uploaded by MovieFanQS

God what a silly-ass song, and I love it. It occupies most of the mixes I make for anyone. TRUST me, Ben and I both listened to the entire album World Clique, where this dance gem is from, and none of the other songs even come close to being as poppy and infectious (much like plague scabs). Kidding aside, it's a neat little dance track, if not an odd anomaly of funk, hip hop and 90's house music. Did you know Q-Tip from A Tribe Called Quest freaking raps on this thing? It's one of the most awkward, phoned in rap interludes I've heard on a pop song, and no, Swedish dance pop with Aryan supermen "rappers" do not count. Deee-Lite's song hit on the formula for what makes a pop song really stick out and the singer had my entire generation wondering through puberty - well, is she hot or isn't she? WE CAN'T TELL. Best use of a slide whistle in pop music thus far.

3. Semi-Charmed Life - Third Eye Blind

Third Eye Blind - Semi Charmed Life
Uploaded by UrbanX

Really, you could take the entire album and classify it as every indie nerd's guilty pleasure album. This album came out during my angst-ridden high school years, found minimal rotation during my angst-soaked college days and nowadays I occasionally Youtube the songs - particularly the above track - on lazy angst-shot Sunday mornings. Who'd ever thought a pop rock song about doing crystal meth would endure for a little over 10 years? The entire album is carefully crafted pop and rewards repeated listens, but it's just so much faux-intellectual bullshit about suicide, separation, bereavment - how can you NOT hear "How's It Gonna Be" after walking away from your guy/girl/tranny after breaking up over text message? That's right, you CAN'T. Steven Jenkins you asshole, you just soundtracked the romantic comedy of our lives.

4. D'You Know What I Mean? - Oasis



Oasis wrote some ok songs in their day, but what most people don't get is, much like AC/DC, all their songs are pretty much the same drumbeat and revolve around the same chords over and over again. "D'You Know What I Mean" is a little more of a badass Oasis track if one can even exist, and it came out when the band was just a little past their Morning Glory peak (hah! I make dick jokes even without trying!) and shows their post-we-are-so-goddamn-rich swagger. It's just such a cocky, self-congratulating song, I just feel like starting the day off with the song playing as I step outside, light a cigarette, and punch a priest in the face.

5. I'm Your Boogie Man - White Zombie (cover)



The song is random enough as it is, adding over-processed crunchy guitars and a boo-scary voice to it just makes it all the more ridiculous.

6. It's No Good - Depeche Mode



This is actually a pretty neat song, and most Depeche Mode singles are pretty boss, but there's just something about this song - it's got really creepy lyrics (basically about stalking someone) and the delivery is fantastic and will send chills down your spine when you start singing along with it. That's what makes this song a guilty pleasure: I don't just enjoy it as another pop song, I enjoy it because it's just MESSED UP. "Don't say you're happy, out there without me...I know you can't be...'cause it's no good". Especially fun is singing this song in the Buffalo Bill voice. Make sure you're not near anyone within earshot while doing that, though.

7. No Shelter - Rage Against the Machine

Rage Against The Machine - No Shelter
Uploaded by dutchguy

Yeah! Fight the power! Corporate power! Um, buy our records via Sony! Their hearts may be in the right place, but if you're contributing a song about how the media distracts people from "real" issues to the 1998 Godzilla soundtrack...yeah. Prepare to have rocks thrown at you, Boners Against the Machine. This song is definitely a fist-pumper, but I'm a lover of irony, so it tickles me to get all indignant at Fox news media while knowing this song helped soundtrack Matthew Broderick fighting against an abomination of Japanese film history (that apparently could change size and speed depending on the scene). RATM went on to disband, realize their "mistake", then get back together just in time to celebrate Bush leaving office. We did it guys! What? What do you mean he HAD to step down anyway due to term limits? Shut up, buy a T-shirt.

8. Threesome - Fenix TX

Fenix TX - Threesome
Uploaded by UniversalMusicGroup

This song is angsty pop punk that just screams TEENS. Or at the very least, "some people who are attractive enough to deign to want a threesome find that they bit off more than they could chew". Plus they try to use the metaphor of dancing and switching partners for said menage-a-trois. It's pop punk trying its best to be a little artsy, and I won't be bitter and say it FAILS outright. It's just unusual given the fetid pop punk scene that arose in the late 90s and it's not too bad song once you get past the WB drama lyrics. I'm sure many a teen has heard this one and nodded their floppy heads in agreement.

9. Be Quiet and Drive - Deftones

Deftones - Be Quiet and Drive - clip
Uploaded by espman

The Deftones were referred to once by some pseudo-journalist as "the Radiohead of nu-metal". Whenever I feel I've swallowed something poisonous, I try to think of that phrase so I am able to throw up in my mouth. Being artsy among nu-metal bands is like having a Segway among the wheelchair bound. Mumble "omg vague" lyrics, have simple guitar riffs that any Johnny Daterape in the audience can mosh to regardless of whatever your "artistic vision" is on stage, and I'm sure Fred Durst will be asking you to host night classes quite soon. This song is fun though, Deftones definitely got whatever formula they were going for right on it. Now they're just a laughable group of fat assholes who still think they're 16, among an audience who feel/are the same.

10. Big Gun - AC/DC



Anyone who says they "love" AC/DC is lying and not a drummer. They've successfully made a career out of the same song over and over and reasonably should have ended things years ago as a fun footnote in heavy metal/hard rock's pantheon. However, AC/DC, much like the housing market, thrives on a cyclical chain of events. Every 7 years or so, people forget that they existed and "just discovers" who they are. The band trots out a new single that is a retread of "Highway To Hell", everyone touts it as a "savior of rock" (what's with the Judeo-Christian agenda, rock fans? I thought the genre was the antithesis of it all) and the single rides high on the charts. Then years later it happens again. "Big Gun" was on the Last Action Hero soundtrack, so it's two equally forgettable birds in one stone - it's still a fun, let's get supercharged kind of song, which to AC/DC's credit, they are good at writing. If Earth was to make a mix CD box set for aliens regarding what our music sounded like, this song definitely should b on there. Either aliens will scrunch up their fingers from the "live long and prosper" gesture to full-on devil-horns, or set the phasers on annihilate once someone informs Quaxxlorr the Butcher that the drumbeat doesn't change one bit the entire song.

Babies? BABIES?

How the hell do people get off on calling babies (especially newborns) cute? Every single baby ever looks like Walter Mathau. All of them,

Your wife just gave birth to this, just without hair. Happy father's day, asshole.

Seriously, no single baby has any single distinguishing feature ever. They all look like little pod creatures that will lay eggs in your esophagus when you're not looking. Don't believe me? Then I dare you to turn your back on a maternity ward some day. Couldn't do it, could you? Those fuckers may LOOK like they're clinging on to life by the skin of the teeth they don't even have yet, but man - they will fucking RAPE your throat with baby eggs. This is an odd tangent.

You know what though? Babies are a lot like old people, and vice versa. Neither of them make any sense when they try to talk, and irritate the FUCK out of you at odd times of day with their need to get cleaned of their own excrement and spaced out diet requirements. Baby food, what the fuck is that? You want mashed up medicinal crap, take a gambling junket up to Toronto and BUY your own goddamn Percoset.

Guess who just scored some fucking E from some quack in Newfoundland and is gonna feel up Meredith after the cakewalk tonight?
Not pictured: babies frebasing Playdoh.

Again, much like with old people, everyone always seems outwardly concerned with other peoples' babies, but are always secretly glad those people have ruined their own lives towards taking care of them. No one gives a shit about your goddamn baby. No one really does. When it's time for midnight feeding or paying $50,000 to keep the goddamn thing on life support (essentially boobs and the milk therein - which come to think of it, is pretty sweet life support. The only reason old people don't get the same treatment is because all the hot big tittied women are either engorged and tired from pregnancy or are too busy playing semi-professional and totally laughable football in lingerie). What I mainly don't get is, babies are fucking indistinguishable. You're seriously telling me you're able to tell one baby from another? What, do they have visual "tells"? Does one scratch its nose twice when it thinks its gonna rain, while another one looks kinda like Chow Yun Fat from a certain angle?

Google images thinks it's sooooo funny.

Seriously, give up the ghost on this one. You're just saying a baby is omg cute because you really don't want to end up saying what we're all thinking: your baby looks like a fucking hackeysack and I'm pretty sure they switched your real kid out by mistake and holy shit you've already breastfed him. No one ever wants to be an impolite douche to parents because hell, they have enough of a reality to face as it is - not only is their kid indistinguishable from a small red cabbage, but it's a tiny version of themselves that shits more, cries significantly more, and, like them, will not be accepted at the doorstep of churches any more either.

You just don't want to end up like that Seinfeld episode where that couple has an ugly baby and everyone just has to try to be polite. Hey man, ugly people have to start somewhere. Congratulations kid, you're born. Just let the rest of us fast-forward past your "terrible Twos" (and it is NOT cute just because it's alliterative, the minute all babies turn two, they need to go on no-fly lists until they blow out some fucking candles marking year number three) and then finally bask in some cuteness. Some people bask for a little while longer than that, but that's why middle schools have fences.

Widescreen delicious

This really isn't a tech blog by any stretch of the imagination, but after searching around for shits, giggles, and some more shits, I found a widescreen LCD monitor that doesn't break the bank and offers a small compromise in terms of screen size. I'm looking to hook up an external monitor to my current trusty Lenovo Thinkpad to enable better web design (my small 15" screen just isn't doing it for me, my CSS alignments are usually a little out of wack), and voila:



http://www.tigerdirect.com/applications/SearchTools/item-details.asp?EdpNo=4513580&CatId=12

$79.99 after instant savings at TigerDirect, this baby is an analog signal in (which sucks if you're thinking of hooking it up to a newer PC with HDMI output, but not too shabby if you're just hooking it up to a basic VGA output like most laptops, and mine, have), this is pretty much the best deal I found after cruising eBay NewEgg and Geeks.com (the last one there has a pretty good list and pricing of peripherals and tech odds and ends though). The same model typically goes for $99 Buy It Now on eBay, and that doesn't include shipping, wtf mate? . The one tradeoff is the size though, 16" (15.6" diagonal - bummer) isn't that great, but it does offer a widescreen aspect ratio which my lappy does not. Plus for about $10 more on the list price I could easily get a 17" or perhaps even a 19" if I keep looking, but those usually come with digital and analog displays both, and my laptop display may end up looking like butt. Analog butt. I also love that Lenovo (the same makers of my laptop so hey, there's something to be said for consistency in purchasing) chose such an anomalous size for a widescreen monitor. "17 inches? 22 INCHES? Fuck you, that's what. 16 inches, spread the word, bitches."

I'm contemplating getting it, but first I need to raise a little cashola. Still, for anyone out there within the US looking for a fairly ok online buy for a monitor (and seriously, what else are you gonna do, go to Circuit City? Yuk yuk, is funny joke. Best Buy, meh), this be the deal to look at, I guess.

Videos from Beyond!

Not much going on in FacePunch Town (although with a name like that, I'd estimate that the general Happiness Index is down while facial reconstruction surgery would be thriving), so here are some videos I happened to take of a couple of good friends' bands around Wormtown. First up is Strizhi's "Micro Mega", performed at Ralphs:



Then there are a few songs I recorded of Eye Witness, a great local folk-rock duo. Enjoy!

Free From You



The Devil and Me (live at The Lucky Dog)